Overdone it?

Past few weeks have been busy... Probably you could say the past few months. Since I submitted the final version of 'that book' around the end of February, I have spent a week abroad visiting a friend, a week visiting my parents, a week on holiday with my partner, taught 14 hours of tutorials, spent an additional 10 days with my parents, while preparing said tutorials, and studying bookkeeping, not to mention doing the odd volunteering hours and applying for jobs, that no-one wants to give me, or even reply or give reasons for their rejection.

Forgive me, if I sound a bit overly dramatic and bitter. I'm not. Just tired. And when tired, I find it very difficult to control my emotions, put on that happy face and pretend I'm ok. I like to retreat into myself, and not face the world... Today is a bit like that. The sun is shining, and I do actually have a lovely treat for today: discussing some educational activities over tea and cake with some volunteer friends. But it's a slow start. And I have to get going, to make it happen. And right now I'm stuck in bed, and want to sleep.

I have overdone it. Tomorrow is also busy with tasks I have been putting off. The weekends also now seem busy, as I try to catch up with the tasks I scheduled in this week, and haven't done. If I don't do them, I start feeling guilty... another trigger on that downward spiral.

Enough rattling on... I'm sorry to have spouted... I'm now going to be late.. It's volunteering, it shouldn't matter, and yet that 'g' word creeps in...