It just reminded me of what many many days were like until recently.
It's not that I can't do anything. I drove my kids around to various appointments. I went shopping. I wrote a couple of things I needed to write for work.
But when I wasn't doing anything particular I was down all day today (still am but pleased to be writing this as a distraction from that and because I wanted to capture the mood I am in.)
Suddenly distractions are too tempting to avoid.
It's been very hard to make decisions (which soft drink to buy?)
I've felt anxious for no reason several times (have I bought the wrong kind of cheese?)
I've got round most of these things and coped, but it's not fun. In fact I've done ok in realising that it's just a bad day and been able to cope at the meta-level ok, realising that ok it's just a bad day and things are not as bad as they seem.
But I've been doing very well for a couple of months I think, really significantly less anxious and not perpetually in a low mood. And starting to feel like I know how to get things done again. Those are all things I didn't feel for more than 2 years before that.
This is a reminder of where I was and why life was hard and maybe it was ok to be not so very good at everything as I wanted to be. Which is not what I was telling myself at the time.
