I've been doing well for the last month, especially on the anxiety front. In fact so well that I've been pondering a post about what has been working for me (not because I think it should work for you, more of an experience report.)
This morning I had a really good run and that made me feel good.
Just now the post came and there's a letter from my mental health nurse...
"I'm sorry you were unable to attend your appointment on Wednesday at 1pm... I would like to arrange a further appointment on ..."
I just forgot the appointment. And that's because I never put it in my online calendar (why is it called a calendar online but a diary on paper?) And because I thought I had put it in my calendar I didn't check the appointment card she gave me.
This makes me upset and anxious. Upset with myself for my mistake - most especially because over the last week I thought "that appointment must be coming up sometime, I wonder why it's not showing up in the coming days in my calendar."
And anxious because I'm worried about what she'll think of me (though intellectually I know she'll understand) and also because I'm away at the suggested new appointment which means I have to make a new appointment which tends to be very hard at this particular establishment - so a minor anxiety producing thing in its own terms.
This isn't a big deal. I'll be fine. But it's a friendly reminder that when I'm doing well, the .... sorry can't quite think of the right cliche but I'm sure you can think of one.
Saturday 29 August 2015
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Funny. I was just beating myself up for a mistake I made the other day, and worrying about what a friend now thinks of me, when I popped over to DA and saw your post.
ReplyDeleteIt's very easy for me to look at your mistake and think of it as a small thing; a could-have-happened-to-any-of-us thing that doesn't warrant being upset or anxious, really. And if we talked about my mistake, I'm pretty certain you wouldn't think anything less of Dorothy and be pretty irked at the thought that anyone might.
If only...
Sorry, somehow I missed this when you posted it - probably because I was away at the thing I mentioned in my post.
DeleteAnyway, yes you're right. Very often it would be great if we could just swap places with somebody and figure out - oh yeah I would think it was fine if it was anybody else.
Earlier today I caught myself feeling bad about a mistake my dad made when I was a child - not a big mistake and not a mistake I made. Actually already I can't remember what it was, and I'm not trying too hard to remember, but it's odd feeling bad about mistakes which were not very important but happened 40 years and were by somebody else...